You touched me like a thunderstorm,on a warm summer day,
I just stood there – saw my Soul dancing to music of the wind;
As it emerged out of my body ,
I was there –still like a Cat – watching – as time slowly passed by,
It was autumn and the trees were nude, desperately trying to cover their chastity.
The painted orange streets and the fashionable lamps waiting eagerly for the dusk to strike,
Anxious housewives waiting for their husbands to return home from work,
Young boys and girls sipped coffee in the nearby café shops ,
I watched as the thick steam and strong aroma left the coffee cups,but I felt nothing –as Nothing as it could be,it was just like any other Day;
Except for me – it was not,
It was my last day,the last time I feel that autumn steamy warm air in my lungs.
The last time I felt the embrace of someone’s love,the last time I was given a hug,an embrace
No ,dying was not the painful part- That part was easy;
The real thing was what do I now – Now that i had gone beyond the idea of life and as I bordered on the extent of my imagination – how do I stretch it now ?
I had no Memo,no plan,no one ever told me this day would come,nor would I blame them for it.
But I had to find a job-a hobbie – it was like being Born again-No pretence,no plan ,no burden
I felt light;
The burden of life was finally over – now I had to begin anew-afresh.
I looked up at the sky ,took a deep sigh and began my search.
I met all people of all races and types – some worried sick ,some happy clowns and a few madly in love Romeos and Juliets ,
They were unoblivious of my existence or of my curiosity – My quest for an answer as I quiet observed life with each passing day.
For now that travel was free – I wanted to use it to the best,
Ah the feel of flying- to take a bird’s flight,feel the wind on my face without Fear;
I never knew being dead was much more fun than living
I knew now why they say after death –they go to a better place,
It was right here –our own earthy abode but I was so grounded with basic human needs that I was too stuck up to have fun.
Now I had all the time in the world.
For years I searched in vain and travelled;
I travelled from the Red Square in Moscow to the Taj Mahal in India,
I flew above the Everest and saw lovers make love under the Eiffel tower.
I travelled from Milan in Italy to the snows of Alaska- saw deep gorges crack the Earth’s womb and high mountains kiss the Sky.
Some would say – I really lived “Soul Searching “,other souls would state me a nut case and told I better use my time to frighten humans instead,
I heard them all but listened to none.
I was committed – to my purpose ,to my Quest.
But I was still without an answer- what is the meaning of Life beyond Life itself- what was the purpose of the Soul ?
One ordinary noon as I lay under under a Banyan tree – and looked at the Blue Sky- A thought struck me like never before;
What if I was looking for something that never existed – What if there is no defined Divine purpose ;
What if the Chief Operational Designer and Architect had no specific plans- what if left it as an empty box –for us to fill it up
What we fill it up with is entirely upto us –Maybe purpose is an idea we have fed to our own minds for too long for it to be imbedded in our moral belief system,
What if our only purpose is do the best what we love to do – create something which leaves a glimpse of us – some do it through their Lives work and some through their way of Life
What if our only purpose was to Love – not just another human being but an idea
What if the only Niravana, purpose of Life, and beyond is Freedom -from everything –detachment- Even from Purpose itself and all existence in one moment- the running one.
As I was freed from the idea of Purpose I felt light into a deep slumber and when I woke up – There was bright light all around me
( Which reminds me I need to get some curtains for my new house )
Nirvana - The search within ! 